Who You Calling A MILF?

There are two kinds of mothers - the ones who are flattered to be called MILF (or wish someone would refer to them as a MILF) and then there are the moms who cringe when they hear the acronym.

Which one are you?

I'm going to let you guess which category I fit into.

I never did think I was beautiful, despite the fact my parents (and a plethora of others) always told me I was.

The All-American, long, blond hair, green (more like hazel, but close enough) eyes, long doll legs (or so my husband calls them) that are athletically shaped, yet more on the boney side than on the thick side. Too much boobs for my own good, shapely hips, but lacking in the bodacious booty part of the equation.

High cheekbones, symmetrical features, although I always despised my nose, and hated it even more after it was broken a couple of times.

Not drop dead gorgeous. Not shoot-me-dead-ugly, though. (Then again, that's just my opinion.) And, anyway, beauty is supposed to be in the eyes of the beholder, but that's beside the point.

And, yes, as a teenager, it did feel good to catch the attention of men. Grown men thinking I was beautiful...telling me that I was beautiful. But, then I realized that 95% of these men were spouting the same words to all of the other women they tried to swoon.

Then, I Met My Husband

There's something about finding someone you feel like you could spend the rest of your life with that changes your perception of basically everything. He told me I was beautiful every day. Told me he loved me.

And he meant it.

And I didn't need to hear it from anyone else anymore. Nobody else's opinion mattered anymore.

Then, I Became a Mom

Motherhood changed me in so many ways. Besides the fact that I felt like I had found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I also had this little man to raise...and you could see in his eyes, even as a newborn, that I was the most beautiful being to him.

Nobody made him smile like his mom. Nobody made him feel safe like his mom. Nobody could comfort him like his mom. Nobody was as beautiful as his mom.

Let's cut to the chase.

The acronym MILF doesn't even sound enticing. Not to me, anyway. I'm not going to spell out what MILF actually means...(If you don't know, take a moment right now to Google it.)

To me, the acronym is downright degrading.

It's worse than when a man looks at my chest, rather than looking me in the eyes, when he's talking to me. Where's the respect? Am I supposed to feel flattered?

Let me enlighten you: I'm not flattered.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

My days consist of caring for nine children and a husband, coordinating everything that encompasses a family of 11, and working as much as I possibly can in between it all. Some days, I look like a bear mauled me.

I may not find the time to get dressed in coordinated clothing, my hair is probably thrown up in a quick bun, ponytail or braid, and my face is usually flushed from going 150 mph from the moment I wake to that oh-so-wonderful part of the day (normally around midnight) when the house finally falls silent.

I do take care of myself. When I do go out in public, I try to look as "normal" as possible. I might even apply some eyeliner and lipstick here and there (which has often prompted my daughter to say, "That eyeliner makes your eyes greener!" or one of the other kids to say, "You look beautiful!")

And, I'll probably clip on a necklace and some earrings, just because I love my jewelry.

But, even on my worst days, I've experienced the cat calls and whistles and occasional honking of a horn. To which I try not to respond. I'm not a cat...or a dog.

Do guys really think we like that? Where's the respect in that?

Celeb MILFs - Are They Flattered?

It makes me wonder...when celebrities read articles like 27 Hottest Celebrity MILFs and Heres 50 of the Hottest Celeb Milfs Around, are those women flattered?

I mean, I know that it's supposed to be a form of flattery, but ladies - moms - WE DESERVE MORE RESPECT THAN THAT!

Don't you agree?

The bottom line here is: The acronym MILF does not make me feel flattered. And, it shouldn't make you feel flattered either.

You are beautiful. You are a mother.

You don't need anyone to turn your beauty or sensuality as the hardworking, loving, devoted, nurturing mother that you are into something distasteful.

Mom I'd Like to Take Out to Dinner (MILTOD) or Mom I'd Like to Get to Know (MILGK) are far more flattering, in my opinion, than being looked at as a piece of meat.

Chime in with your thoughts in the comments. What's your take on the acronym MILF?

Do You Know What Games Your Kids Are Playing?

Yesterday, I admitted that I've been slipping, letting my children...(ahem, mostly my teens) use the computers to their hearts' content this summer. Sure, every day I scream and stomp like a 2 year old at the peak of a tornado sized temper tantrum, basically telling them to go outside and get some fresh air, but...

Like I said, I'm losing that battle...and I'm ok with it, because it's summertime!

But, the question of the day today is: Do you know what games your kids are playing? Or, better yet, are you aware of the content of the most popular games on the market?

But Mom Says Bad Words...

Yes I do. (These kids make me say bad words, I can't help it sometimes.)

But, some of the most popular games on the market today don't even have conversations and words beyond the cursing. Somehow, they've managed to string all of the curse words together to create sentences that are made up of solely curse words!

And, did you know that your kids could literally go to a strip club, watch a stripper dancing on the pole, and even throw some cash at her? How about drive to the corner and pick up a prostitute...or maybe some drugs...I even read you can catch an STD in one of the Adult Rated games.

There are guns and knives and street fights. There is plenty of blood, gore, and even torture. All of the things that nightmares are made of. Scenes that we work so hard to keep our children away from are right at their fingertips.

And, I'm just scraping the top of the bucket right now. Some of you would probably be downright shocked to find out some of the graphic verbatim and scenes that are in these quite popular gamrs.

Which Games to Watch Out For

I'm not going to list the names of the games your kids shouldn't be exposed to, as it's your choice what games your kids and teens can play.

I won't judge.

But, for those of you who are not aware that brutal sexual content, drugs, torture, prostitution, and much more is right at your children's fingertips, I'll say that you might want to check the rating of the games your kids/teens are playing.

Watch out for the Mature (M) rating, and the Adults Only (AO) rating is actually worse than the Mature rating. Here is a list of Adult Only games on Wikipedia, although I can't vouch for whether it's all-inclusive or not.

The Mature rated games are just one level below that AO rating, so they aren't much better. Kids/teens will still potentially be exposed to nudity and adult themes, "bad words" strung together like they can form complete sentences.

"I Won't Buy Those Games For My Kids!"

Say what you want, even if you won't buy these games for your kids, they can still get their hands on them. They can borrow them from a friend, or even play them while they are at the next door neighbor's house, and kids nowadays know how to download games on BitTorrent and other torrent sites.

So, don't think that just because you won't buy your kids those kind of games, they don't have access to them.

Do you know what kind of games YOUR kids are playing?

Games - Where Do You Draw the Line?

You know I love to touch on the "controversial" topics, the topics that parents - and "experts" - normally disagree on. Spanking...co-sleeping...lying...and the list goes on and on.

And I'll openly admit that I don't like to conform to "conventional" methods of parenting, if those even exist anymore.

So, let's talk about gaming. With summer break still in effect in our house, games seem to be the "priority", especially for my teens.

It goes without saying that computer games, PS3, PS4, even tablet and smartphone app games have chnaged in just the past 5 to 10 years. While I hate to give my age away, I remember when Atari and the Nintendo 64 (with that unmistakable Mario Brothers theme music) first came out.

But, nowadays, the list of game consoles and games is endless. And a lot of them are downright scary!

"Games and Computers Are Not the Priority!" 

I can't even count how many times those words have come out of my mouth, not just this summer, but during the school year, over the years of my motherhood.

I strictly enforce that all chores are done and bedrooms are clean BEFORE kids are on computers and tablets and smartphones...but, that doesn't mean that they don't try to sneak. Fib that their bedrooms are clean...assuming that I will be too busy to check. (Teenagers telling me "Yeah, I did that this morning", knowing that they hardly came close to cleaning their room!)

And, usually, I am to busy (I work from home, manage a house of 11 people, 9 of them children, and have 3 littles aged 3 and under)...but, you can even ask my children - Mom WILL check every corner of the house on a daily basis! So, you better not be playing games and be caught with a messy bedroom or undone chores, or else you will lose all priveledges. And, that checkpoint can happen at any time!

Yes, games and computers are a PRIVELEDGE. However, my kids act like that's their career.

Back Me Up, Here, Doc!

I've even made sure that our so very wonderful pediatrician (Dr. Kasuba, we love her!) has voiced her opinion at our annual check-ups to each and every kid - especially the teenagers!

No more than 2 hours per day on ANY TYPE OF MEDIA - tv, tablets, computers, etc.

And, somehow, I'm losing the battle...

As you can see in the pics, all of the computers are up and running, even as I type this up. The playroom, which happens to be the biggest room in house, looks more like a command center, with 4 computers. The 5th computer (Daddy's) is set up in my livingroom (he's usually working, so the kids take advantage of his computer, as well).

We have bicycles, scooters, golf clubs, a playhouse, a kiddie pool, a basketball hoop and several balls, and on and on and on...there's PLENTY of things to do outside, but the gaming addiction is a tough battle!

So, I'll admit, I've slipped this summer. I've totally abandoned my mothering instincts that tell me that my kids should be using their imaginations all day long outside, like I used to when I was a kid...

Of course, I go outside for hours with the littles each day (the weather has been amazing!), but it's like pulling teeth to get the teens to go out. When I water my plants outside, all the littles follow me. If I sit out there in my lawn chair, the littles are right there with me.

And, yet, I don't feel one bit guilty, because my kids are all happy and they are enjoying their summer as they choose to. (As long as their chores are done!)

And, not to point the blame in another direction, but even Daddy feels like he'd rather our kids be on computers than getting into trouble around the neighborhood. On the upside, we know EXACTLY where our kids are and what they are doing.

I Don't Live in a Glass House

So, once again, I probably am a terrible mother. Go ahead and throw stones at me from your glass house while your children are playing Red Light, Green Light and Mother May I? outside and mine are sitting behind computers and tablets.

Tell me I'm the only mother on this earth with children/teens who act like they have a career on computers? Where do you draw the line?

Join us tomorrow for a deeper look into the CONTENT of the games kids are playing nowadays. Do you know what games your kids are playing?

Back To School Hustle

We have about a month left til school starts, and, to be honest with you, although these kids can drive a mom up the wall by 9 a.m., I'm truly not looking forward to the back-to-school hustle. I think the kids would agree that the quiet mornings and ability to sleep in has gotten to be really nice.

But, while we are enjoying the lazy days of summer, all good things must come to an end. School will start, whether we like it or not. (Don't get me wrong, my kids love school.)

Fortunately for us, here in the north, school won't start until after Labor Day. While our friends down south have already started. I actually like the later dismissal in June and the later beginning in September, rather than getting out in May and starting up in August. (We've lived in the south, so we know the difference first hand.)

So, to those of our friends who have already started, sorry your summer is over...we will be enjoying our last few weeks of summer rest and relaxation. The back-to-school hustle will be in effect for us soon enough.

When did/do your kids start school?

Parenting Mrs. Piggle Wiggle Style

Wouldn't it be great if there were cures for children like:

• the interrupting cure
• the won't-pick-up-toys cure
• the answer-backer cure
• the selfishness cure
• the never-want-to-to-bedders cure
• the slower-eater-tiny-bite-taker cure
• the fighter-quarrelers cure
• the thought-you-saiders cure
• the never-want-to-go-to-schooler cure
• the waddle-I-doers cure
• the crybaby cure
• the bully cure

And the list goes on and on...

As parents, we've all dealt with a child who needed one of the above cures...and I can attest that I've needed almost all of them at one point of my motherhood or another.

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle

I remember the book series that I loved as a young girl, written by Betty MacDonald. Incredibly, these books were written back in the 1940's and Mrs. Piggle Wiggle, the main character, who had an unusual way with children, had the answers to all of these cures - and more! (If you haven't read the books, I would suggest reading at least one to your children!) I believe movies have been made out of the books, as well, but don't quote me. I've never seen them.

Cures that Work

For example, for the Answer-Backer Cure, Mrs. Piggle Wiggle gets a call from a mother who is fed up with her impudent, talking back daughter. What's her "cure"? She loans the mother Penelope, a parrot who is just as rude as the little girl. When she gets tired of getting a taste of her own medicine, the little girl decides that Penelope can go back to where she came from and promises that she won't be rude ever again.

Great idea, huh?

One of my favorites was the Never-Want-To-Go-To-Bedders Cure. Mom and Dad leave for the night while Mrs. Piggle Wiggle comes over to implement her treatment. What does she do? She keeps the kids up watching television until they are so tired, they start falling asleep. But, that's not enough for Mrs. Piggle Wiggle! She keeps nudging and waking the children, loud and obnoxious, in order to keep them up all night long.

Mrs. Piggle Wiggle don't play around!

Cures for Today's Children

I honestly haven't figured out what cures will work for today's children. I wish Betty MacDonald was still around to write newer versions for parents of the 21st century!

I have, however, come up with some of my very own Mrs. Piggle Wiggle strategies. (giggle, giggle) Or, maybe I stole them from ones that I read but truly do not remember. Here are a couple of mine that I use on my own kids...

The Bugging-Mom-Like-Crazy Cure

You know the "bugging Mom like crazy" syndrome. That's when you have a child (or two children....or maybe even more) who spend the entire day bugging you like crazy. What's a Mom to do?

This Mom bugs the child (or children) back by saying, "Do you have gas?" (to a child who keeps moaning and groaning because they aren't getting what they want) or "Na-na-na-na-poo-poo, I can't hear you!" or other similar, rather annoying sayings to let them know I'm not listening.

I know, it's so grown and mature of me, but sometimes, you have to bring yourself down to a child's level. Annoy them back.

The "It Wasn't Me" Cure

This is, by far, my favorite cure of all. Now, I have 9 children so when the It Wasn't Me, I Didn't Do It and other exclusions start flying around, I have two choices...either become an investigator/detective or just walk away without answers - or with a bunch of fingers pointing around. 

This cure isn't as easy as it seems. You have to STOP asking Who Done It. Which, of course, is harder than it seems. Don't ask and a child or two will eventually tell. Just let the children know how let down you are and the truth will eventually come to you. 

But if it doesn't, you'll just have to remove whatever is being done in the future. Did someone drink some off-limits soda or spray all of your air freshener? You will need to find a place to keep that stuff where the kids won't find it. Markers? Snacks? Put them up! Or don't keep them around the house.

You probably have a few "cures" of your own...feel free to share them in the comments!