Maybe it's just the way that I feel. Maybe you can relate. But, does making friends with other moms seem kinda like dating?
I mean, there's an awkwardness to it. Then, you have to find someone you have something other than family and kids and motherhood that the two of you have in common. And, that still doesn't guarantee that a friendship will blossom.
I am not talking about socializing with other moms at school events. Socializing is easy peasy. I can do that all day and all night. But, to ask for a phone number or recommend getting together is kinda sorta like asking someone on a date. I'm feeling a connection here...would you like to get together for lunch or a play date or something?
Tell me that doesn't sound just like asking someone out on a date.
Now, I've been out of the dating game for nearly two decades, so it's not like I'm an expert at it. Far from it. I mean, I can give advice, but as far as going out there and doing it myself...I wouldn't know how to even act on a date anymore, let alone ask someone out or agree to go out sometime. I would be nervous, anxious, and probably sick to my stomach. Blundering and floundering like a fool.
Tuesday, November 3, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
Okay, I'm Selfish (1/24th of the Time)
Remember that Pantene commercial back in the 1980's? Kelly Le Brock flips her lengthy, yet bouncy and swirly tresses and announces, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful..."
Yeah, I agree, it was dumb. It was. But, sadly, we all know it is the truth. Being even halfway pretty ensures haters. It's even worse when you are beautiful female working in the professional world. Isn't it? Surely, the haterisms will fly around the office if a pretty gal works there. Then, if you are super amazing at your job and pretty, rest assured, at least someone in that office is going to play the hater role.
But, there is one type of beautiful that you simply cannot be. If you are a mom who takes care of herself, how dare you? Seriously. Certainly, you cannot be a devoted and nurturing mom if you look pretty. You will never hear the end of it.
No matter how it's worded, the tone of voice is obviously incredulous when they ask the question. "I would never guess you have five children!" Or, in my case, nine. And, "how do you stay looking so good?" That is the question that has perplexed me since the years when I only had three kids, when I started hearing it.
I have asked it before: What does that mean? What am I supposed to look like?
Yeah, I agree, it was dumb. It was. But, sadly, we all know it is the truth. Being even halfway pretty ensures haters. It's even worse when you are beautiful female working in the professional world. Isn't it? Surely, the haterisms will fly around the office if a pretty gal works there. Then, if you are super amazing at your job and pretty, rest assured, at least someone in that office is going to play the hater role.
But, there is one type of beautiful that you simply cannot be. If you are a mom who takes care of herself, how dare you? Seriously. Certainly, you cannot be a devoted and nurturing mom if you look pretty. You will never hear the end of it.
No matter how it's worded, the tone of voice is obviously incredulous when they ask the question. "I would never guess you have five children!" Or, in my case, nine. And, "how do you stay looking so good?" That is the question that has perplexed me since the years when I only had three kids, when I started hearing it.
I have asked it before: What does that mean? What am I supposed to look like?
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Why You Can't Call Me (The Phone Call Storm)
You can text, Facebook message or email, but whatever you do, please do not call me.
Just the other day, I had all nine of my kiddos settled nicely in the house, some were working on educational computer games, one was reading a book, the littlest ones were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, the baby was busy playing with toys, and the teens were doing whatever was keeping them busy. And it was unusually serene.
A rare moment.
But, I had fed them, provided individual drinks, the house was nice and clean, and all of the children's needs had been met. I made sure of it. I was gearing up to write a blog post, so I had purposely - and personally - ensured that everyone had been attended to. I thought I had earned at least fifteen minutes, maybe a half an hour, to myself.
The chime of the phone did not disturb the tranquil environment, as it usually does, confirming my assumption that I had tended to their needs. As I conversed with the lady on the other end of the line, I watched in amazement how my brood remained motionless.
Just the other day, I had all nine of my kiddos settled nicely in the house, some were working on educational computer games, one was reading a book, the littlest ones were watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, the baby was busy playing with toys, and the teens were doing whatever was keeping them busy. And it was unusually serene.
A rare moment.
But, I had fed them, provided individual drinks, the house was nice and clean, and all of the children's needs had been met. I made sure of it. I was gearing up to write a blog post, so I had purposely - and personally - ensured that everyone had been attended to. I thought I had earned at least fifteen minutes, maybe a half an hour, to myself.
The chime of the phone did not disturb the tranquil environment, as it usually does, confirming my assumption that I had tended to their needs. As I conversed with the lady on the other end of the line, I watched in amazement how my brood remained motionless.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
NEW BOOK RELEASE! Breaking the Rules: 7 Controversial Parenting "Rules" and Why Parents Should Be Breaking Them
It is my extreme pleasure to introduce my newly published book, Breaking the Rules! I bring many of the topics that I have researched and blogged about over the years into a compilation that details why parents should be breaking the "rules."
Flip to the back and read the cover:
“I break most of the controversial parenting rules. Not because I am a
rebel mom, but because I love my kids.” – Bethany Cousins, blogger,
journalist, and author of Breaking the Rules.
There are two tenacious sides to every parenting debate. Breaking the Rules is a fearless journey through a jungle of jaw-dropping statistics, eye-opening case studies, and stunning information that is written by a mom of nine children. She tells parents why she dissents the “majority rule” on seven of the most highly controversial parenting subjects, including vaccinating and medicating children, childhood obesity, spanking and co-sleeping.
She contends, “We are being misinformed, and, if we are not careful, we will also be misled. Our children’s best interests are not always on these ‘experts’ minds” and proceeds to reveal how trusted organizations, including our government, have created parenting “rules” to enrich financial and political stances, which are not always in the best interest of our children. Her mind-provoking and factious viewpoints are shockingly blunt.
Breaking the Rules is a must-read book for parents who are on the fence about any of these highly debated subjects and even parents who are resolute about the topics will learn something new. Everyone who reads it is bound to be enlightened.
Not everyone is going to agree with my point of view at first, but it is difficult to argue with facts, statistics, and case studies that many parents have yet to hear. You see, the "experts" have not been completely honest with us! Whether the subject is co-sleeping, vaccinating, medicating children, or spanking, we have only heard the statistics and studies they want us to hear!
I hope you enjoy the book! Let me know what you think, and better yet, be sure to leave a review on Amazon!
Flip to the back and read the cover:
“I break most of the controversial parenting rules. Not because I am a
rebel mom, but because I love my kids.” – Bethany Cousins, blogger,
journalist, and author of Breaking the Rules.
There are two tenacious sides to every parenting debate. Breaking the Rules is a fearless journey through a jungle of jaw-dropping statistics, eye-opening case studies, and stunning information that is written by a mom of nine children. She tells parents why she dissents the “majority rule” on seven of the most highly controversial parenting subjects, including vaccinating and medicating children, childhood obesity, spanking and co-sleeping.
She contends, “We are being misinformed, and, if we are not careful, we will also be misled. Our children’s best interests are not always on these ‘experts’ minds” and proceeds to reveal how trusted organizations, including our government, have created parenting “rules” to enrich financial and political stances, which are not always in the best interest of our children. Her mind-provoking and factious viewpoints are shockingly blunt.
Breaking the Rules is a must-read book for parents who are on the fence about any of these highly debated subjects and even parents who are resolute about the topics will learn something new. Everyone who reads it is bound to be enlightened.
Not everyone is going to agree with my point of view at first, but it is difficult to argue with facts, statistics, and case studies that many parents have yet to hear. You see, the "experts" have not been completely honest with us! Whether the subject is co-sleeping, vaccinating, medicating children, or spanking, we have only heard the statistics and studies they want us to hear!
I hope you enjoy the book! Let me know what you think, and better yet, be sure to leave a review on Amazon!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Oh, So Cops Can Use Corporal Punishment on Our Kids?
Are things are just getting heinous or what with our police forces? The people who are supposed to be “protecting and serving” are throwing around our children, killing them.
Oh, yeah, and now officers are shelling out heartless, remorseless, and barbaric levels of corporal punishment at school?
It just happened in a South Carolina school the other day, when a school resource officer – a senior level deputy - decided that appropriate disciplinary action for a student who disobeyed “orders” was throwing her and her desk and chair combo, mind you, around the classroom.
Slow down. Before all of you loyal supporters of the cops who run around vociferating that not all police officers are bad guys start throwing your temper tantrums, hear me out here.
I’m just saying that maybe we need to think about things for a moment.
So, this Senior Deputy Ben Fields, tough guy dude – I saw the pics, he’s not a small guy, by any means, estimated at about 300 pounds – gets so mad at this teenage girl that he loses his patience and does something that even her parents probably wouldn’t have done to her. He slings her and her one piece desk and chair back and forth, irrationally, and I would even say psychotically.
That’s not even a fair match. Not even close. Did he seriously think that was appropriate behavior?
Now, if a parent was seen doing that to their child, what would happen? I don’t think that would go over well with child advocates. I’m just saying.
This type of stuff outrages me!
Why aren’t we screening these officers better? How are violent dudes slipping through the cracks and making it into our “protect and serve” organizations? I don’t care what anyone says, whoever is in charge of hiring these people is not doing their job. Period.
On top of that, how in the world are creeps like that keeping their jobs when they already had previous infractions, like Ben Fields did? Not that I want to go into many other details about the pompous ruffian of a cop, but he has been sued a couple of times for his ruthless behavior.
One of the victims was an army vet who claims that Fields had the nerve to say to him, “I’m glad Johnny Cochran is dead.”
So, let’s give the guy a job at a school!
Even Victoria Middleton, who heads the South Carolina ACLU Chapter agreed that there was absolutely no justification for doing that to a child. A child!
And now the student is wearing a cast? She also has a bruise on her head and marks on her neck, reportedly. We are talking about a 16 year old girl who had nothing on the three hundred pound monster of a bully.
Let’s just say for a moment that the teen in the video was your child. I mean, correct me if I am wrong, but I would see red if it had been my child. I would about lose control of whatever is inside of me that prevents me from seeking violent revenge. I swear, outrage is not the word.
But, you know what?
This 16 year old girl just lost her mother, the poor soul. Then, to make matters worse for her, she is now living with a foster parent. Of course she is acting out! Her whole world has been turned upside down!
And then a man in uniform brutally assaults her? Where is the compassion for children who are grieving and needing some love and support?
Hey, let’s throw them around like we are barbarians when they misbehave and show out. Then, let’s slap them with charges of disturbing the peace or whatever we can nail them with to cover up the fact that we totally violated and victimized them.
On top of that, what are we letting our very own children see?
My kids have heard the news. They confronted me about it. Its not the type of subject that I ask my children whether or not they have heard about it. Kids hear about this stuff. You cannot protect them from the media. Even if the cable and Internet were off, they would still hear the biggest news stories at school.
Kids were right there, witnessing the violence. And, the one girl who stepped up to try to speak out for the girl gets charged with some phony disturbing the peace type of charge, as well.
I assume the charge was a ploy to keep her from talking about the incident. Yeah, maybe she used profanity and called the officer vulgar names, but heck, I probably would have, too! Watching a teen who certainly can't defend herself get accosted by a man twice her size does something to a young woman.
It makes her want to step up and defend the girl. It is more comfortable to stand there and watch it, but stay out of it to protect oneself. It takes guts to stand up.
Do you think this abominable behavior is building a youth who respects our police officers? We hear story after story on the news of police brutality of our youth and murdering children!
I’m just saying that even my kids are very wary of police officers, and that is just sad. It is so very sad. They are supposed to help us.
Sure, there are good guys on the police forces and they outnumber the bad ones. But, the gap is only getting bigger between citizens and cops. The trust is gone.
The trust has been gone.
Do I believe with all of my heart that every single cop would protect and serve me and my children? I’m not gullible. I’m just saying.
We can all see what’s happening. Why isn’t anything being done about this? Stress tests, psychological testing, the whole shebang. You want to become a cop? Then, you should be willing to undergo a myriad of tests to ensure your mental and behavioral stability. That’s not much to ask.
Keep our streets safe.
Our police officers should have their morals and values questioned and observed closely. There is nothing wrong with that.
Otherwise, I don’t want them anywhere near my children! Definitely not in a position where a cop has the choice of physically disciplining my child. Corporal punishment has been banned in schools. It is illegal.
Yet, once again, there is an officer on duty doing something incredibly illegal.
As far as schools, there needs to be a concrete procedure for dealing with discipline issues. I mean, that's a pretty simple solution.
I applaud Leon Lotts, Richland County Sherrif, for expeditiously firing Ben Fields. But, the rest of our country needs to be just as swift to take action, not only after an incident occurs, but prior to any potential issues, so we - and our children - can all feel safer and protected by the people who are empowered with law enforcement positions.
You know the saying, “I can do bad all by myself?” Well, with that kind of protection, we can protect ourselves just fine on our own.
Protect and serve, my behind. (And, that’s saying it nicely.)
Oh, yeah, and now officers are shelling out heartless, remorseless, and barbaric levels of corporal punishment at school?
It just happened in a South Carolina school the other day, when a school resource officer – a senior level deputy - decided that appropriate disciplinary action for a student who disobeyed “orders” was throwing her and her desk and chair combo, mind you, around the classroom.
Slow down. Before all of you loyal supporters of the cops who run around vociferating that not all police officers are bad guys start throwing your temper tantrums, hear me out here.
I’m just saying that maybe we need to think about things for a moment.
So, this Senior Deputy Ben Fields, tough guy dude – I saw the pics, he’s not a small guy, by any means, estimated at about 300 pounds – gets so mad at this teenage girl that he loses his patience and does something that even her parents probably wouldn’t have done to her. He slings her and her one piece desk and chair back and forth, irrationally, and I would even say psychotically.
That’s not even a fair match. Not even close. Did he seriously think that was appropriate behavior?
Now, if a parent was seen doing that to their child, what would happen? I don’t think that would go over well with child advocates. I’m just saying.
This type of stuff outrages me!
Why aren’t we screening these officers better? How are violent dudes slipping through the cracks and making it into our “protect and serve” organizations? I don’t care what anyone says, whoever is in charge of hiring these people is not doing their job. Period.
On top of that, how in the world are creeps like that keeping their jobs when they already had previous infractions, like Ben Fields did? Not that I want to go into many other details about the pompous ruffian of a cop, but he has been sued a couple of times for his ruthless behavior.
One of the victims was an army vet who claims that Fields had the nerve to say to him, “I’m glad Johnny Cochran is dead.”
So, let’s give the guy a job at a school!
Even Victoria Middleton, who heads the South Carolina ACLU Chapter agreed that there was absolutely no justification for doing that to a child. A child!
And now the student is wearing a cast? She also has a bruise on her head and marks on her neck, reportedly. We are talking about a 16 year old girl who had nothing on the three hundred pound monster of a bully.
Let’s just say for a moment that the teen in the video was your child. I mean, correct me if I am wrong, but I would see red if it had been my child. I would about lose control of whatever is inside of me that prevents me from seeking violent revenge. I swear, outrage is not the word.
But, you know what?
This 16 year old girl just lost her mother, the poor soul. Then, to make matters worse for her, she is now living with a foster parent. Of course she is acting out! Her whole world has been turned upside down!
And then a man in uniform brutally assaults her? Where is the compassion for children who are grieving and needing some love and support?
Hey, let’s throw them around like we are barbarians when they misbehave and show out. Then, let’s slap them with charges of disturbing the peace or whatever we can nail them with to cover up the fact that we totally violated and victimized them.
On top of that, what are we letting our very own children see?
My kids have heard the news. They confronted me about it. Its not the type of subject that I ask my children whether or not they have heard about it. Kids hear about this stuff. You cannot protect them from the media. Even if the cable and Internet were off, they would still hear the biggest news stories at school.
Kids were right there, witnessing the violence. And, the one girl who stepped up to try to speak out for the girl gets charged with some phony disturbing the peace type of charge, as well.
I assume the charge was a ploy to keep her from talking about the incident. Yeah, maybe she used profanity and called the officer vulgar names, but heck, I probably would have, too! Watching a teen who certainly can't defend herself get accosted by a man twice her size does something to a young woman.
It makes her want to step up and defend the girl. It is more comfortable to stand there and watch it, but stay out of it to protect oneself. It takes guts to stand up.
Do you think this abominable behavior is building a youth who respects our police officers? We hear story after story on the news of police brutality of our youth and murdering children!
I’m just saying that even my kids are very wary of police officers, and that is just sad. It is so very sad. They are supposed to help us.
Sure, there are good guys on the police forces and they outnumber the bad ones. But, the gap is only getting bigger between citizens and cops. The trust is gone.
The trust has been gone.
Do I believe with all of my heart that every single cop would protect and serve me and my children? I’m not gullible. I’m just saying.
We can all see what’s happening. Why isn’t anything being done about this? Stress tests, psychological testing, the whole shebang. You want to become a cop? Then, you should be willing to undergo a myriad of tests to ensure your mental and behavioral stability. That’s not much to ask.
Keep our streets safe.
Our police officers should have their morals and values questioned and observed closely. There is nothing wrong with that.
Otherwise, I don’t want them anywhere near my children! Definitely not in a position where a cop has the choice of physically disciplining my child. Corporal punishment has been banned in schools. It is illegal.
Yet, once again, there is an officer on duty doing something incredibly illegal.
As far as schools, there needs to be a concrete procedure for dealing with discipline issues. I mean, that's a pretty simple solution.
I applaud Leon Lotts, Richland County Sherrif, for expeditiously firing Ben Fields. But, the rest of our country needs to be just as swift to take action, not only after an incident occurs, but prior to any potential issues, so we - and our children - can all feel safer and protected by the people who are empowered with law enforcement positions.
You know the saying, “I can do bad all by myself?” Well, with that kind of protection, we can protect ourselves just fine on our own.
Protect and serve, my behind. (And, that’s saying it nicely.)
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