I have become one of those mothers that I used to talk about, I'm ashamed to say.
"Boys should not have long hair! She needs to cut that boy's hair!" I would rant.
Just recently, I was asked if my two-year-old was my daughter. "Is this your daughter?"
"No..." I responded, "He's my son."
Yes, my son has "hair too long for a boy". Straight with curls on the ends, and just so pretty that I cannot convince myself to cut the curls off. Yes, he's almost 3, and he has never had a haircut. Do I have to cut it now? What are the real rules for boy's hair?
We laugh and joke that he has a mullet, with straight hair in the back that will twirl into one long, pretty curl at the nape of his neck. In the eighties, his hair would have been perfect. But it's 2010, not 1987.
I find myself justifying his too-long hair to myself, "He looks so cute", "It's too pretty to cut", "I can't cut those curls!", "It's not like he's in school or daycare or anything, he's at home with me". I don't keep him home all the time, though. He goes to the grocery store, church, running errands.
People see him, and they think the same thing about me that I used to say about other moms, "She needs to cut his hair! Boys should have short hair!"
But, for anyone who's ever known me, I don't live my life worried about what other people think of me. If you think my son's hair is too long, tell someone who cares, because I've changed my mind...
I've finally found the beauty of boys with longer-than-it-should-be hair. And, you know what??? I'll cut his darn hair when I'm ready! So there!
In my neighborhood it is usuall the old ladies that let me know that it is time for me to cut my son's hair. They take a look at him in his jeans, dirty sneakers, long-sleeve shirt with stripes on it, and his bat and ball in hand and then they call him "she". I too am not offended, nor do I care what they think. But I do know that they know he is a boy and that is their way of letting me know that I am totally gender confusing my son by not cutting his hair. lol. One day I am just going to agree with them and tell them that he is a girl just to see their reaction.
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